#i keep forgetting to post this so here it is!!

[pearlv1ne]

I just finished all of Kai's FTEs and I really wanted to add to this, cause I truly belive he has some strong trans coding going on

First of all, his name! Before coming out, many trans people come up with a kinda gender neutral nickname for themselfs as a way to feel more comfortable. If they're from transphobic community/family, it also helps to hide their actual identity while not really having to use their deadname.

You cannot tell me that the name "Kai" couldn't totally act as this kind of nickname!! Its very gender neutral and it could be a diminutive for many feminine given names. It was also pretty popular back in the 2020-2021 era, mostly within trans community. If we assume p:eg takes place in 2023, this would be the time Kai started his media presence.

But that's not all! While I was watching Kai's FTEs, I noticed this one perticual line:

For context, he's talking about taking a social media-related job after his own profile started gaining traction. It happened a year ago, and Kai is now 18 - which means he was 17 when he took the job.

My question is, why a 17 y/o is struggling to pay rent? Why a teenager is paying rent AT ALL? That's pretty much still a child. He's not even old enough to drink yet. Shouldn't he live with his parents?

The answer is simple - his parents kicked him out.

This is all speculation on my part, but what if Kai's parents kicked him out after he came out as trans? It would tie well with my nickname theory. In his 4th FTE he also talks about how he doesn't really have any friends besides his followers.

But Kai USED TO have friends - he says it in his second FTE. So hear me out. Let's say Kai comes from a very transphobic community. To cope with dysphoria and hatred towards others like him he starts a social media profile, using his chosen name. He posts edited photos of himself, trying to appear more masculine, all of that stuff - but then, something happens and his family and friends find out about his identity. His parents kick him out, and his friends stop associating with him.

Doesn't that sheeds a whole new light at his previous words? "They're always telling me to keep [...] beging myself... Even though they don't have too... Even though they could stop at any moment... they're still here, despite everything". LIKE, COME ON. THAT'S SOME HEAVY CODING IF I EVER SEEN ONE.

Speaking of coding, Kai actually says A LOT of things during his FTE that could be read as trans allegory. This one specificaly stuck out to me:

"... But beging incognito wasn't even my choice." HELLO???? AM I GOING CRAZY????

It might be just me reading to much into things, but I geniuenly think that Transmasc Kai headcanon makes sooooo much sense!! I already love him as he is ( chapter one only made my appreciation for him grow) and I think making him canonically transmasc would add so much layer to his character. Its also not that unlikely, since Kaimon is semi-canon at this point lmao

Anyway, if Kai ever gets comfirmed as canon trans, don't forget that I and op called it !

why do I have an inkling that kai monteago might be trans.......... Like I don't have any substantial proof (only chapter 1 is out right neow duh) but it's just a feeling

I mean butterflies are a common symbol for transformation right? It just so happens to be his motif, a pink butterfly being sewn onto the left side of his sweater (where his heart is). Also in the beach designs, he's covering his chest too

Even in this official art (Desmond and wenona look so FINE but that's not the main focus here) Kai is basically fully covered. I'm pretty sure swimming binders do exist, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's why he doesn't reveal his bare chest like most of the male cast.

I mean, its also possible it ties into him as a person. He begun as an influencer by posting edited photos of himself. He's definitely not as confident as he makes himself out to be.

Anyway transmasc Kai canon trust I'm actually the apple Damon's holding in the trailer

[adoresia]

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ CHAPTER 8 : in the quiet between us

Sia here ! : This is so cute guys I made this too cute ngl. Also I completely forgot to add the top banner with the blue bow idk what happened im gonna go back and add em’. Also scheduled this for 00:52 instead cause I think they won’t post cause I keep posting them at 11pm so if I wake up and these aren’t posted I’m gonna crash out 😤😤😤😤

Word count : 1.9k

Taglist : @fushiguruuzzzz @mystic-megumi @aldebrana @anotherwriternamedclara @tlissablr @2dmenfr @academiq @vmpky @lizbix @blubearxy @ashlvsss @madison777x @rreveurdoll @q2uq2u @temblebee @moonchhu @monster-effer

series masterlist / jjk m.list

previous / next

The day of the Christmas party dawned cold and clear, the morning sun casting a pale glow over the world dusted in snow. You were sitting at your desk, phone tucked between your ear and shoulder, while you pulled on a sweater and tried to gather your things. Yuji’s voice buzzed cheerfully in your ear, cutting through the morning stillness.

“Don’t forget the cupcakes,” he reminded, his tone light but insistent. “I worked hard on those, you know.”

“You mean I worked hard on those,” you corrected with a small laugh. “You just made a mess.”

“Hey, i was moral support.” Yuji protested, his voice playfully indignant.

“Right, because smearing flour all over the counter like a 5 year old is so supportive,” you teased, the warmth in your voice betraying your fondness for the memory.

Yuji chuckled, the sound soft and warm, like a hug wrapped in laughter. “Whatever, just don’t forget them, alright? And, uh… see you soon.”

“Yeah,” you said, the word sticking in your throat for a second before you shook off the sudden wave of nervousness. “See you soon.”

As the call ended, you set the phone down and took a moment to steady yourself. The conversation from last night lingered in your mind, its weight pressing softly against your chest. You thought of how Yuji had listened to you, his unwavering gaze, and the sincerity in his words. Trust didn’t come easily to you, but Yuji… felt different. The thought followed you as you packed up the cupcakes and made your way through the icy streets to Yuji’s dorm. The snow crunched beneath your boots, the cold air sharp against your cheeks, but your thoughts were warmer than they’d been in a long time. You felt something stirring deep within you, a fragile bloom of hope that you weren’t sure how to nurture.

When you arrived, the dorm was a riot of sound and color. Music pulsed softly from a speaker in the corner, and the glow of string lights cast a cozy golden hue over the room. Yuji greeted you at the door, his smile brighter than the lights around him.

“You’re here!” he exclaimed, taking the cupcakes from your hands like they were the crown jewels. “You took so long I thought you got lost in the snow.”

You rolled your eyes, but the corners of your mouth twitched upward. “I’m not like you, believe it or not.”

“That was just a comedic act, I don’t actually trip.,” Yuji said, winking as he carried the cupcakes to the kitchen.

Despite the bustling energy of the room, you found yourself naturally gravitating toward Yuji. He moved through the crowd with an easy charm, laughing with friends and making everyone feel included. It was hard not to be drawn to his warmth, even as you made an effort to chat with Nobara and Maki.

The three of you fell into a conversation about holiday traditions, your laughter mingling with the music as you shared stories. Nobara’s animated gestures and Maki’s dry humor kept you entertained, but your gaze kept drifting toward Yuji.

At some point, you found yourself sitting beside Yuta on the couch, the chatter of the room fading slightly as the two of you settled into a quieter conversation.

“You’ve been sticking close to Yuji tonight,” Yuta remarked, his tone casual but knowing.

You hesitated, your fingers toying with the hem of your sweater. “Yeah, I guess I have.”

“Is there something going on between you two?” he asked gently, his eyes kind but curious.

You sighed, the weight of the question pressing against your chest. “We talked last night,” you admitted. “I told him about… why it’s so hard for me to trust people. And he was amazing about it, but now I don’t know how I feel. Or how he feels.”

Yuta nodded, his expression thoughtful. “Yuji’s a good person. He really cares about you, I don’t think you have to worry about that. But it’s okay not to have everything figured out right away.”

“Thanks, Yuta,” you said softly, appreciating his quiet reassurance. “I think I need some air.”

He didn’t stop you, only offering a supportive smile as you slipped out of the room. The cold night air greeted you like an old friend as you made your way to the rooftop. The world was quiet up here, the snow blanketing the city in a hushed stillness. You sat down on the edge, your breath puffing out in small clouds as you tried to sort through the storm of emotions swirling inside you.

Back at the party, Yuji felt the shift in the air almost instantly. The absence of your laughter, your presence—it hit him like a missing note in a song, a space that should have been filled. His gaze swept the room, darting from group to group, searching for you amidst the holiday chaos.

“Hey, Nobara,” he interrupted, stepping into her conversation with Maki. “Have you seen Y/N?”

Nobara tilted her head, her brow furrowing. “Not recently. I thought they were with Yuta a while ago.”

Without wasting a second, Yuji crossed the room to Yuta, his steps quick and purposeful. “Yuta, where did Y/N go?” he asked, urgency creeping into his voice.

Yuta looked up, his expression calm but concerned. “They said they needed some air.”

Yuji paused for a moment, processing the words, before nodding. The warmth and energy of the party seemed distant now, replaced by the cold unease settling in his chest. He didn’t need to ask anything else—he just knew.

The hallway was quiet as he stepped out, the soft hum of the party fading behind him. The chill of the winter air wrapped around him like an omen, matching the knot tightening in his chest. He searched instinctively, each step filled with purpose, the sound of his shoes against the floor echoing in the stillness.

It didn’t take him long to find you. The rooftop door creaked slightly as he pushed it open, and there you were perched on the ledge, curled in on yourself like a small figure carved from ice. Snowflakes swirled gently around you, catching in your hair, while the glow of the city lights painted a faint halo over you.

Yuji’s breath hung in the air as he approached, his footsteps crunching softly against the snow. For a moment, he hesitated, struck by the quiet vulnerability of the scene—the way the world seemed to pause around you, holding its breath.

The rooftop was a quiet, frozen haven, the snow falling softly like whispers between the sky and the earth. You sat with your knees pulled to your chest, the cold biting at your skin but dull in comparison to the storm brewing inside you.

When Yuji called your name, it cut through the silence, his voice steady but layered with worry. You didn’t turn to face him right away, the weight of everything pressing too heavily on your chest. The crunch of his footsteps grew closer, hesitant but deliberate, until he stopped a few feet away.

“Hey,” he murmured gently, as though afraid to break whatever fragile thread was holding you together.

“Hey, you. Sorry, I didn’t mean to leave like that,” you said quietly, your voice barely audible over the winter breeze. “I just… I needed some air.”

Yuji crouched beside you, unwinding his scarf with clumsy fingers. The fabric brushed against your shoulders as he draped it over you, his touch lingering for a moment longer than necessary. The warmth of the scarf seeped into your skin, but it was the gesture itself that made your heart ache.

“You don’t have to explain,” he said, though his tone betrayed his concern. “But… you scared me. I thought—” He stopped himself, swallowing hard, his gaze darting to the snow-covered ground.

You glanced at him, noting the way his usual confidence seemed to falter. His shoulders were tense, his hands fidgeting against his thighs. Yuji, always so open and easygoing, now looked as though he didn’t know where to place himself.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice trembling. “For pushing you away, again. I said I’d stop doing that. I just… I’ve been thinking a lot about this, you, us. I’m Scared of ruining this—whatever this is between us.”

His head snapped up at your words, his wide eyes locking with yours for a brief moment before he looked away, his cheeks flushed. The nervous energy between you was palpable, like the charged air before a thunderstorm.

“This?” he repeated, his voice quieter, almost unsure. “What do you mean, this?”

You hesitated, wrapping the scarf tighter around yourself as if it could shield you from the vulnerability threatening to spill out. “Us. You. The way you make me feel safe, even when I don’t deserve it. I’m scared of losing that. Scared of messing it all up.”

Yuji’s hand twitched at his side, like he wanted to reach for you but wasn’t sure if he should. “You don’t have to be scared,” he said, his voice soft but strained, as though he was trying to hold something back. “I mean… I get it. I do. But you don’t have to handle everything alone anymore.”

You turned to face him fully now, your heart pounding so loudly you were sure he could hear it. “You try so hard for me Yuji, why?”

His eyes flickered up to meet yours before darting away again, his nervousness plain as day. “I don’t know,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck, his breath fogging up in the cold air. “I just… I can’t help it. When it comes to you, I—” He broke off, shaking his head like he was frustrated with himself.

“When it comes to me, what?” you pressed, your voice barely above a whisper.

Yuji finally looked at you, his warm brown eyes filled with a mix of determination and vulnerability. “I don’t know how to explain it,” he said, his voice cracking slightly. “You’re just… important to me. More than I thought anyone could be. And I don’t know what to do with that.”

The confession hung in the air between you, heavy and electric. His nervousness was mirrored in the way your hands gripped the edge of the scarf, your knuckles white from the tension.

“What are we, Yuji?” you asked, your voice trembling. “I don’t even know anymore.”

He hesitated, his lips parting and closing again as he searched for the right words. “I don’t know either,” he finally said, his cheeks tinged pink. “But I think… you’re mean more than just a friend to me. A lot more.”

The words hit you like a warm wave, washing away the cold and fear you’d been holding onto. Your breath hitched, your chest tightening—not from anxiety, but from the unfamiliar feeling of hope blooming inside you.

“You mean that?” you asked, your voice barely audible.

“Yeah,” he said, his voice steadier now, though his hands still fidgeted. “I don’t know if I’m saying it right, but… I mean it.”

For a moment, neither of you spoke. The snow continued to fall around you, the world seeming to hold its breath. Then, slowly, you leaned your head against his shoulder, the tension in your body easing.

“I’d rather stay up here with you for a while,” you murmured, your voice soft.

Yuji exhaled, his breath misting in the cold air. “Yeah,” he said quietly, a small smile tugging at his lips. “Me too.”

His arm came up, hesitating for just a second before resting gently around your shoulders. You closed your eyes, letting the warmth of his presence melt away the lingering chill. For the first time in what felt like forever, you weren’t scared. You weren’t alone. And as Yuji sat beside you, his own nervousness giving way to quiet contentment, it felt like the start of something new—something worth figuring out, together.

[yamumsyadadd]

the forgotten girl (9)

originally post on my old account, posting twice weekly :)

Alexia’s POV 

“You alright there capi?” Lucy giggled watching as I gripped my glass tighter and tighter. 

“I’m fine Lucia.” Gritted through teeth. 

Jealousy was freely flowing through my veins. Why did Misa and Alba get to dance with her like that? I wanted it to be me and only me. I wasn’t usually possessive, but Amelia made me do irrational things. 

As Amelia almost fell over her own feet on the dance floor, Misa grabbed her waist. That was it. I’d had enough. 

“Ale, stop. She’s having fun.” Keira placed a hand on my chest as soon as I got up. “Let her enjoy this.“

“No. She’s too drunk, I’m taking her home.” Pushing passed Keira was quiet easy, considering she was shorted and less muscular. 

By the time I pushed through the bodies on the dance floor, Alba had gone back to the bar leaving Misa and Amelia grinding on each other. She smiled at me and reached her arm out to invite me. 

“No. We are going home. Let’s go.” I tugged her arm, pulling her out of Misa’s grip. 

“Ale stop. I don’t want to go home yet.” 

“I don’t care. Let’s go. I’ll drag you out if I have to.” She gave up the fight, letting me pull her through the crowd, past our friends who were all watching on, very confused and not understanding what was happening. By the time we were outside she was starting to fight back. 

“Alexia! Alexia stop! What is wrong with you?” 

“You! You’re what is wrong with me!”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean Alexia?” She scoffed, crossing her arms against her chest. She was mad. 

“Forget about it. Just get in the car and let me take you home. Please.” 

Shaking her head and refusing to move, “no. You don’t get to say that and then tell me to forget about it. You’re an adult Alexia. use your words.” 

“I am in love with you! No one is you. Jesus!” 

“Alexia no. You love Olga. She is your person, not me.” 

“Olga broke up with me.” I say quietly. Not quite ready to admit the truth. She could see I loved her, but I was in love with you. 

“She broke up with you because you love me.” It almost sounded like she was trying to make sense of it herself.  

“I have always loved you Amelia. Even when you left me, I didn’t stop loving you. You tore my heart out of my fucking chest and all I wanted was you. All I want is you. I can’t keep being just friends with you. Maybe because your eyes remind me so much of the nights we fell asleep wrapped in each other's warmth Or maybe when you smile it makes my body shiver because I know that smile used to be because of me. I can't see that with my eyes and pretend like it's ony. Because it's not. I can't be just friends with you, because every time I see you I fall in love again." 

The tears were running down both our faces. Silence engulfed us. 

“Please say something mil.” It came out more like a sob. 

“Alexia, I ca-“ 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” Keira’s engulfed Mil in a hug, Alba and Lucy standing either side of them. Keira’s face was mad, Lucy’s was sad and Alba she was unreadable. 

“Take me home please Kei.” With that, Keira turned them both around, walking away and leaving me there, again. 

“Wait Mil please!” I tried to go after them but Lucy’s hand caught my arm. 

“Stop Ale. She’s drunk, let Keira take her home and you can have the conversation later. Come on, I’ll take you home.” Lucy was firm but soft. Not waiting to push too much. 

Alba chewed me out in the drive home. I wasn’t even listening to be honest. The tears never stopped falling, all I could think about was Amelia. What would have happened if we’d tried sooner? Or if she never left? It had always been here, I knew it from the moment I met her but I was with Jenni then. 

Lucy left after dropping alba and I at my apartment. It was a horrible ride in the elevator. Alba wouldn’t stop. She didn’t stop when we got inside, or when I walked away from her, she just followed and continued to chew me out. 

“Alba stop! I fucked up okay. I love her and I have for years. I don’t need you telling me over and over again that I fucked up. I am well aware of that fact.” 

“You love her? What about Olga?” 

“She broke up with me. 3 weeks ago.” 

“Ale-“

“No don’t! I don’t need your pity right now. I need you to tell me what to do to fix this. I can’t lose Amelia again. I can’t go through that pain again. Alba please help me fix this.” The last sentence came out as a whisper, a sob was caught in the back of my throat and as soon as Alba wrapped her arms around me, it all came crashing down. 

I was going to lose Amelia. Again.  

[ladykailitha]

King of the Day!

Hello and welcome to my Christmas AUvent Calendar! Every day from now until the 24th I will be posting a ficlet that is 500-1500 from an AU I've done over the years.

All stories will be marked with the tag #12 aus of christmas so you can follow along as I will only be tagging my permanent list for this (it would get too confusing otherwise).

The last one on our list is: Steve is Tattoo Artist verse. You can read the story here. All links will be to the first chapter, but the chapter itself will have links to the rest of the story.

The title comes from the European tradition of if the [insert object here] in the cake you were king for the day (I learned about it in my French three decades ago so if I got wrong sorry!).

Day 1 Day 2 Day 3 Day 4 Day 5 Day 6 Day 7 Day 8 Day 9 Day 10 Day 11

~

Steve was facing the dilemma of topping Eddie’s Christmas from last year. Where his band Corroded Coffin got their first gold record, which had gone platinum earlier this year. But if everything went right and Gareth didn’t forget his present to Eddie then he might just win.

But as it was right at that moment it was a disaster.

“What do you mean you lost my order?” Steve asked through gritted teeth. “I called confirmed it only yesterday and every week for the last three weeks!”

He pinched the bridge of his nose. “Are you sure you’re spelling ‘Buckley’ correctly? It’s B-U-C-K-L-E-Y. Yes with an E. Thank you!”

“No ma’am, I’m not saying that you’re dumb or anything of the sort,” he continued dryly. “I just wanted to make sure it was going to be here on time. It’s already out for delivery. Thank you!”

He set the receiver gently in its cradle and then picked it back up again. Once he heard the dial tone he slammed it several times for good measure.

“You do know that I’ve done this for the last five years,” Robin snarked from the entrance to tattoo shop, “as my job. I don’t know why you won’t let me do it for this.” She walked into the shop and leaned against the counter. “You’re just stressing yourself out over nothing.”

Steve laid his head on the desk with a sigh, letting the cool surface calm his rage. “I just wanted to make tonight special.”

She scooped up his hands in hers. “It will be special because he loves you. Now, let’s see it.”

He reached into his pocket and handed her a small red velvet box. She opened it and smiled fondly. It was perfect. It was white gold with ruby in the middle and framed by four black spinel gemstones, two large close to the ruby and two smaller stones on the outside.

Then she slipped it into her pocket. “I’ll just hold on to this for safe keeping. So what is the other thing you’re getting Eddie for Christmas? Because I know this is for after the gift giving.”

“Gareth is bringing it,” Steve said with a sigh. “Eddie is like a little kid looking for presents all the time and knows all my hiding spots.”

Robin laughed, because yeah. Steve’s boyfriend was like a kid when it came with presents, something Wayne had to warn him for when his birthday came up.

“I’ve been texting him nonstop reminding him to bring it,” he continued and then he handed her his phone. “Then he sent me this.”

It was a picture of Gareth in his car, a stack of presents in the passenger seat, and he’s giving the camera the middle finger. The caption read underneath, “I’ve got it! Quit your bitching!”

“Am I supposed to guess which one is yours to Eddie?” she asked rolling her eyes as she handed it back to him.

Steve rolled his eyes and jerk his head forward, holding his hands out like it was obvious. “Like the one wrapped differently then all the others?”

“Oh.”

~

The party was in full swing. Everyone was having fun, the booze was flowing, the food flying off the table and into happy mouths.

“I can’t believe you got me the entire new edition of the D&D manuals,” Eddie huffed, crossing his arms over his chest. “Like how am I supposed to compete with that?”

Steve kissed his cheek. “It’s not a competition, love. Despite what you and Gareth think.”

“Bah!” Eddie said. Then he got shy. “You did like your present, right?”

Steve tilted his to the side. Eddie had gotten him a custom apron that said, “King of this Castle” for him to wear while he was tattooing. “Of course I did. I loved it, baby. Chrissy is already trying to convince Robin and Vickie to get her and Argyle similar ones.”

Eddie shoved his hair in front of his face. “Yeah?”

Steve gently took the strand from him and tucked it behind his ear. “Yeah, sunshine. I promise.”

Robin gave him a pat on his shoulder as she passed by them.

It was time.

He took a deep breath and then grabbed his hand. “There’s one more present for you.”

Eddie cocked his head to the side and then his eyes went wide. “Oh!”

“Last year when I gave you my grandfather’s ring,” Steve said, cupping Eddie’s cheek, “I promised that I would get you a ring that was all your own.” He lifted his left hand. “There is only room for one more.” He tapped the ring finger.

“Stevie...” he breathed.

Suddenly he was aware that everyone was watching them as Steve got down on one knee.

“Would you do the honor of being my husband?” He pulled out the red velvet box Robin had slipped him when she passed.

Eddie held his hands mouth, too overjoyed to speak and nodded. Steve slipped the ring on his finger. It fit perfectly and perfectly fit the rest of Eddie’s rings as Steve intended.

“I love you.”

Eddie pulled him to his feet and kissed him senseless. “Merry Christmas, Stevie.”

A cheer went up as Steve blushed and pressed their foreheads together. “Merry Christmas, Eds.”

“Does this make me the royal consort?” Eddie asked with a grin.

Steve threw his head back and laughed. He loved this man so deeply. “Yeah, babe. You absolute drama queen!”

Everyone laughed.

~

Tag List: CLOSED

1- @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @zerokrox-blog @sadisticaltarts @dolphincliffs

2- @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie @chaosgremlinmunson @cryptid-system @kultiras

3- @maya-custodios-dionach @goodolefashionedloverboi @val-from-lawrence @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

4- @bookbinderbitch @bookworm0690 @forgottenkanji @dreamercec @blondie1006

5- @yikes-a-bee @awkwardgravity1 @genderless-spoon @fearieshadow @thesecondfate

6- @dragonmama76 @ellietheasexylibrarian @thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman

7- @counting-dollars-counting-stars @tinyplanet95 @ravenfrog @swimmingbirdrunningrock @lingeringmirth

8- @gutterflower77 @a-lovely-craziness @just-a-tiny-void @w1ll0wtr33 @beelze-the-bubkiss

[r4fe-cam3ron]

CHRISTMAS STORY EIGHT | MERRY CHRISTMAS, I MISS YOU — s. harrington x reader

w; angsty! but has a cute ending :p

an; close to the ending! posting this one early so i can post the surprise one today as well <3!!

Steve Harrington used to be a cocky individual - or so it seemed, with the front he always tried to keep up until he finally allowed those walls to tumble after Nancy Wheeler. 

He wanted to prove himself to her, in a strange manner, and now he realizes that, maybe, if he would’ve truly just been himself instead of someone who Tommy Hagan and Carol Barrett wanted to hang around, things probably wouldn’t have ended the way they did. 

But, then he wouldn’t have been able to meet you with the way things had gone with Nancy. You were the epitome of a true angel. The day you’d stepped through the doors was his very first day in Family Video. 

Any and every word had slipped from his mind, forgetting how rude it was to practically stare at someone you don’t even know. 

You’d laughed about it and had continued to come to Family Video every Thursday and Friday night - conveniently the days he works night. 

It was you who had made the first move - a smile as you leaned on your elbows on the counter towards him. His brain had gone to mush again at the look on your face and the smell of your perfume invading his nose. Floral with a bit of cherry. 

“So am I asking for your number or are you asking for mine?” It was such a stupid line, yet it had worked. His fingers fumbling for a pen, knocking them into the floor in the process, Robin pausing her sweeping to stare back at him with an unimpressed look on her face. 

Your fingers have pressed to your mouth as you laugh, watching him grab a yellow post-it note before handing it to you. Everything had gone great - everyone in the party loved you, they always wanted you to be with Steve at anything he was invited to. 

Then things suddenly, somehow, went sour. He’d become more guarded, seemingly less interested than he was at first. He started to push you away more until there was nothing left to push away from. 

Now he’s sitting all alone, watching some weird movie playing on the television. The tuxedo he was wearing was so comfortable that he could probably fall asleep in it. He’d left his Dad’s work party early - nothing but older men and women there. 

The cookie he eats drops crumbs onto the lapel of his jacket and a bit on his pants. He tosses the rest on a napkin and leans back as he blinks at the television. 

“What is this?” He mutters to himself, grabbing the remote and turning the television off. He sits in the quiet for a while, puckering his lips slightly before standing. He pats at his pockets, slipping the pack of cigarettes out. He walks outside without grabbing a coat, immediately lighting the cigarette. 

He wasn’t planning on walking around aimlessly, but that’s what ended up happening. And that’s how he found himself in front of your small, cozy home, staring inside at the tree and the warm lights. 

There’s chatter going on inside, a loud laugh from somewhere in the house that he recognizes as you. He steps a bit closer, stopping when he realizes how close he is to the lawn. 

Then he realizes what he’s doing. He’s staring into your home. Through a window. In the middle of the night, like a creep, in a tuxedo as he freezes to death. He barely registers the chattering in his teeth and how tense and shaky his body is. 

The door suddenly opens and you step out onto the doorstep, tilting your head. “Steve?” 

He slowly turns and looks at you, his lips pulling into a tight smile. “Hi. Hello.” 

“What are you doing here, staring through my window? And without a coat? Are you insane?” 

Yes. Maybe. 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…I was just aimlessly walking around.” 

“Oh,” He watches as your body slightly drops. He wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing. “Uhm, would you…would you like to come in? Warm up for a bit?” 

“Is that…okay? I don’t want to intrude.”

You motion him inside. “It’s just some family. You’re not intruding.” He nods and follows you inside, shutting the door behind him. His nose is instantly hit with the smell of cinnamon, chocolate, and something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. 

“Are you hungry?” You turn to him, arms dropping when you realize again that he doesn’t have a coat. 

“Not really.” He shakes his head. 

“Oh,” You nod. “Thirsty? My mom made some homemade hot chocolate.” 

He debates and eventually nods. “Yeah. That does sound nice.” 

You smile softly and he can’t help but think of how pretty you look with the warm Christmas lights hitting the side of your face, highlighting your features perfectly. 

“Okay, follow me.” 

He feels bad, truly. For standing outside your home and staring into the window, watching your family. And for how things ended. Once in the kitchen, he sits on the bar-stool, clearing his throat. 

“How have you been?” 

You glance over your shoulder when you grab a cup, shutting the cabinet door back as you shrug. You step over towards the stove where a pot sits on the eye, steam slowly rolling off the top. “I’ve been okay, I guess. Nothing really interesting happening,” You place the cup in front of him. “Whipped cream, marshmallows, or both?” 

“Both.” He nods. You nod and grab the bag of marshmallows, dropping a couple into the cup before opening the refrigerator door, grabbing the can out. 

“How about you?” You shut the door and step back, spraying some over the top of the layer of marshmallows. 

He watches. “Thanks,” He says when you stop. You nod and lean against the counter, looking at him the same way you did that night you’d used that one stupid line. “I’ve been…okay. I’ve been better.” 

You hum softly and nod, looking down at the counter this time. “What were you actually doing outside, Steve?” It sounds like you’re hopeful. Like you’re wanting him to answer in a certain way. 

“I was honestly aimlessly walking,” He says seriously. “I was at home because I left my dad’s work party early. Some weird movie was on television so I walked outside to smoke,” Your brows lift at that, eyes lifting to meet his. Smoke? When did he start smoking? “I hadn’t even realized I even started walking until I stopped.” 

“Oh.” 

You seem disappointed with that answer and he honestly doesn’t know what kind of answer you wanted. 

“So after this, you’re going to continue to not speak to me again?” 

Steve stares at you quietly, lips parting. He goes to speak, but someone enters the kitchen. “And who is this handsome man?” Your - very stumbly - aunt smiles, waving with her fingers. 

“This is Steve,” You motion towards him. He waves awkwardly. Oh, god. Family. Your family is here. “Steve, this is my Aunt Alexa.” 

“Well, what are you two doing in here? The fun’s in the living room - come on now!” She grabs your hand, pulling you with her. You glance back at Steve who sits there for a moment. Debating on if he should leave, and do exactly what you had just asked about, he sighs and stands, following you into the living room, standing next to you. 

“Oh, look at them,” Alexa grins, eyes drifting upwards. “There’s a rule you have to follow though.” She makes a slight face, wiggling her brows. Steve gulps and quickly looks up at the mistletoe your dad had put up this morning when your mom had passed. 

It seems as if he’d forgotten to take it down. 

“No,” You quickly shake your head. “No. No, we don’t have to follow the rules. It’s stupid. Besides, I believe Steve was leaving. He was just coming over to…” 

“To pick up my movie,” Steve lamely makes up an excuse. You wanted him to leave so he’ll go. “Thanks for the hot chocolate.” 

You nod. “I’ll walk you out.” Your cheeks are flushed red from embarrassment, cutting in front of him as you walk towards the door. 

“Sorry again,” He says softly. “I didn’t mean to…just—”

“Show up. I know,” You nod, eyes drifting outside towards the snow that falls. “You’ve made that clear.” 

Steve rubs his lips together before stepping out into the cold once again. Before you could close the door, he quickly turned. “I’m sorry for not calling you back.” 

“It’s fine, Steve. I understand—”

“No. You don’t understand,” He shakes his head. The tip of his nose and the top of his cheeks had begun to grow a pretty pink color. “I truly like you. I know it seems like I have a weird way of showing you, but I do,” 

Your arms cross over your chest when goosebumps have started to slowly lift across your arms. “I…when I begin to like someone, have strong feelings for them, I shut down,” He takes a breath. “Not because I don’t want to put in that effort; but because I’m scared too,” 

“When I was dating Nancy, everything seemed…easier in a way. I was doing things that I would never do again in a million years because I’m so embarrassed I acted that way. Granted, I was young, but still,” He takes a deep breath. “With you it seemed…complicated.” 

“Oh, thanks. That makes me feel better.” You let out a scoff, hand lifting to push the door shut. He quickly steps up again, pushing it back open. You're startled by his quick movements, head rearing back slightly. 

“I didn’t mean that in a bad way,” He shakes his head. “I should’ve worded that differently—”

“You think?” 

He finishes his words. “It was scary in a good way,” He nods. “It was new. Fresh. I could actually be myself with you - I never knew who I was, exactly, since I've always tended to be different around different people so I can match them effortlessly without them judging me,” 

Your eyes glance down at the ground before looking back up when he shifts closer. His freckles had faded across his nose. “I pushed you away because I felt…” He stops and his face falters. 

“Felt what?” You ask softly. 

“I love you,” He blurts out. “And it was…it was embarrassingly fast how easy it was to fall in love with you. I think that’s what made it complicated,” You let out a small breath. 

“Because it was easy. I’m used to difficult and ‘will they, won’t they’ type of relationship. This doesn't…this feeling doesn’t come close to even touching—”

He’s cut off by your lips brushing against his, your hands cradling his jaw. It takes him a moment, but he’s lifting his own hands to cradle your jaw in a gentle hold, stepping closer. 

Pulling away slowly, your nose nudges him once, twice, three times with a small smile. He presses another quick kiss against your lips. 

“If you do that again, Steve,” You look up at him. “I will not let you in again.” 

He nods and smiles softly, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. “Do you mind if I stay for a while longer?” He asks quietly. 

You reach over and shut the door. “No. I don’t mind,” You shake your head. “And, Steve?” 

“Yeah?” 

“I love you too,” You nod. “It was…scary to me as well - but it felt nice. Like nothing before.” 

His thumb presses into your cheek and he kisses you once again - soft, sweet, and slow before pulling away. “Good to know.” 

| tags — @oceanblvd111 ; @ali-r3n

| please do not copy my work! comments, feedbacks, reblogs, & requests are welcomed and greatly appreciated! ❅

| border — @/silkholland

[joezworld]

Christmas Story

So yeah, I really did drop a 15,427 word chapter on you guys last time. Hope you liked it.

The Fat Controller had to be summoned. 

There had been, immediately following the shouting and the yelling and the shovel and the wrench, a near perfect silence as everyone tried to digest what had just happened. The snow had muffled a great deal of the natural sounds, and it amplified the quiet. 

The silence that occurred after the Fat Controller finished roaring at Truro would have been as equally complete on a brisk summer’s day as it was on snowy Christmas Eve. 

Not even the snow dared crunch under Charles Hatt’s feet as he walked away, then stopped and turned on the ball of his foot. He pointed at Truro, and the engine jumped slightly. “I expected better of you. I will not make that mistake again.” 

He continued on his way back to the station. On the platform, the stationmaster, signalman, and yardmaster were staring in wide-eyed shock. “See to it that he is returned to his owners post haste.” The Fat Controller hissed as he walked by, not even turning to face them. 

The doors to the waiting room opened and shut with a slam, and they were alone on the platform for a moment. Then the doors opened again, much more softly, revealing Stephen Hatt. He was calmer, but no less furious. “So, which one of you got his nose like that?”

The three men looked at each other. “Someone from the P-Way gang.” Said the stationmaster. “Don’t know his name.”

“An’ Ted, one of the drivers, got him with the shovel,” the signalman spoke up. 

Charles didn’t say anything for a while, rummaging through his coat pockets for something, eventually fishing out a silver flask. “Tell them “well done”.” He said, popping the cap off and taking a long drink. “That one deserved it.”

-----

The news spread up and down the line like wildfire: 

At Wellsworth, Edward was outraged, his smoke jagged and shaky as he fumed. “I cannot believe I didn’t notice!” he raged at himself. 

BoCo, on the other buffer, was less upset. “I can’t believe they broke his nose. I wish I could’ve seen it. I hope they don’t fix it before I can see it.”

-

On Thomas’ branch line, the engines were horrified. “He did what?” Toby said, horrified and aghast. “Doesn’t he have any decency?”

“He thought he did,” Thomas said quietly. “It’s just that his version of decency is quite indecent to everyone else.”

“He’s a goddamned fundamentalist, is what he is,” Percy grunted. “They’re always trouble.”

“Forget him,” Daisy scoffed. “What about Bear? Has anyone told him?”

-

Bear smiled when the stationmaster told him. For reasons that he couldn’t properly express even to himself, he’d started sleeping out behind the shed in Barrow, and had planned on having a very lonely Christmas. “They roughed him up some?” He chuckled. “Well isn’t that the best present I could get. Warms me up a bit just thinking about it.” 

“Yes, I imagine it would,” the stationmaster replied, keeping his uncharitable thoughts about Western steam engines to himself. 

“Say, is there any way I could get back to Tidmouth sheds by tonight?”

“The Fat Controller already called. You’re on the next train out of here.”

-

In the sheds, there was a very distinct rumble of anger at Truro’s actions. 

“Some icon he is,” James scoffed. “Let the mainland have him, I say!”

“I cannae believe that he’d stoop so low.” Douglas growled. “An’ do all that.”

“I coulda’ been killed!” Donald interjected. 

“You and me both…” Oliver said, voice quiet. “I can’t believe that I didn’t see it.”

“None of us did,” Delta said. “I thought he was a run of the mill bastard, not… one of my siblings.”

There was a wave of agreement through the shed. “He really is a diesel, isn’t he?” James said. “In all the very worst ways. No offense.”

“None taken.” She mused. “I ought to adopt him. Lord knows we’ve lost enough of the ranks in the last few years.” A pause. “Oh he’d hate that, wouldn’t he? The idea that a diesel likes him.”

James and Oliver both snickered at the thought. “You should do that. He might melt his crown sheet.” “You can have him, I don’t imagine anyone else wants him.”

A little bit more laughter echoed across the diesel-steam divide before Delta rolled her eyes. “Gosh, that means I’d have to put up with him, wouldn’t I? Maybe not then.”

“Yeah, for the best.” “Probably.”

“What do you think, Gordon?” She looked over to where the big engine was uncharacteristically silent. “Anything?”

“Hmm?” Gordon raised an eyebrow. “Oh, I don’t think I have anything productive to say right now.”  

James raised an eyebrow, and barely managed to stop something insulting from coming out of his mouth. Gordon caught it anyway, but recognized the effort. “Truly, I don’t.” He paused, exhaling a deep breath. 

James’ eyebrow was joined by one from Oliver. 

Gordon rolled his eyes. “Oh fine. You want my piece?” He exhaled again. “There are lines that are created when you reach this stature, when you become the face of a railway. They exist for Flying Scotsman, they exist for Mallard, they exist for Duchess of Hamilton, and they exist for myself.” He looked deeply serious. “In time, I feel that they may come to exist for Thomas, even.” Another pause. “These lines are not… restrictions, but they are there, constantly. You are the icon of the railway - of your lineage. Your actions reflect upon everyone. To cross them, to break the norm, is a very serious thing indeed.”

There was a choked noise from the other end of the shed, and everybody looked over at Duck. 

After the… event with Truro, the Fat Controller had cancelled the rest of the Little Western’s services for the day - Oliver needed to be checked for damage, and Duck (who had heard everything) refused to move under his own power. Donald had pulled them back to the big station, and pushed them into the sheds. 

Duck hadn’t said a word since, and everyone had assumed he’d fallen asleep. 

Whether he actually had was immaterial, because he was now awake and crying quietly. 

Oliver and the others immediately tried to comfort him, and Gordon was left alone in the clamor. “It’s a serious thing,” He said, unheard by everyone. “Because you stop being an engine, and start being a legend.”

He watched as Duck wept silently. “And people put a great deal of faith into legends…”

--------

It is almost Christmas.

--------

At some point close to midnight, as the last passenger trains for the mainland slipped off into the distance, an inspector came to the sheds. Now that it’s quiet, he said. Someone needs to bring Truro up to the big station. 

Gordon was still in steam, and volunteered before anyone else could say anything. 

He went light engine, taking due care in the tunnel, Bulgy’s bridge, and the points outside Haultraugh station. How many hours, pounds, and men did it take to fix the problems caused by one engine? He thought as he made his way down the line. 

The station at Arlesburgh was empty, with everything buttoned up tightly for the holiday. There was a sliver of light coming from inside the shed of the small railway, but everything else was lit only by the moon. 

Truro sat by the shed, alone, cold, and forgotten about; his glossy paint, which usually reflected light back into the air, seemed to be absorbing it, leaving the area around him darker than the rest. 

Silently, Gordon slipped into the goods yard, and retrieved two flatbeds and a brakevan. Nobody, engine or crew, wanted to be near the disgraced Westerner, and so the flatbeds acted as physical separation; the van was to make sure that they didn’t have to rely on Truro for any braking power. 

The trucks watched silently as Gordon collected his train. “And they said tender engines don’t shunt.” one voice whispered from the sidings. Gordon didn’t dignify it with a response. 

“Are we taking him to be someone else’s problem?” Toad asked as Gordon coupled up to him. 

“We’re getting there.”

“Excellent.”

Truro finally seemed to realize what was happening as Gordon marshalled Toad and one of the flatbeds next to him. “Are you to ‘take me away’?” he asked, mockingly. 

Gordon, Toad, and the trucks glared at him, but otherwise remained silent. They stayed silent as Gordon was turned on the turntable, the train was put together, and then set off for the big station. 

As they left the yard, seemingly every truck in the yard called out "good riddance!”, breaking the silence for the first and only time. 

Truro seemed unnerved by that for just a second, but the train had been oriented so nobody actually had to look at him, so it wasn’t a sure thing. 

“What?” He asked as they rolled towards Haultraugh. “Not one word for the condemned? Are you all so poisoned by the soft thinkings of this island that I don’t even get a final goodbye?”

“City of Truro.” Gordon said finally. “I understand the things you went through. I went through many of them myself.”

“I don’t think that you di-”  

“And I thought, perhaps naively, that you and I were similar.”

“Similar? Pah! Our similarities end at the coal that goes in our boilers!” Unseen by everyone, Truro was twisting up his face in bitter mockery, and making his already broken nose worse with each facial contortion. 

“I know,” Gordon said as he negotiated the train through the temporarily-repaired switch at Haultraugh. “I assumed that our differences were the core of our similarities, Our roles as leaders of what was left of our lineages. I am the first Gresley, and spoken of in the same breath as Mallard and Flying Scotsman. You are the Greatest Westerner, and often come up in concert with Brunel himself.”

“Oh get on with whatever pretentious moral judgement you want to give me, and spare me the sermon.”

Gordon’s face twisted into a frown. “I assumed incorrectly, and it will not happen again. You are not like me, nor my brother. You are no luminary, no role model. You have a half-baked record to your name and little more. You are a disgrace to your railway and mine.”

Truro’s response was lost to the noise as the train entered the tunnel, and no more was said after that. 

Gordon completed the trip in silence, and left Truro in the yard near the station, surrounded by empty tracks and a brick wall. He made sure to move Toad and the flatbeds before he left, and then sidled up next to him. 

His crew jumped down, and began setting Truro’s handbrake and chocking his wheels. “I’m a disgrace?” Truro said, clearly trying to get the last word in. “It’s you who is-”

He was cut off, not by Gordon, but by the clocktower from the Catholic Cathedral. It bonged once, twice, eventually twelve times, and then launched into a deep, bass-y version of Carol of the Bells. 

“Merry Christmas, City of Truro.” Gordon said as he steamed away. “I hope that you find happiness someday.” 

-

A few minutes later, he arrived in the shed to find everyone sleeping the sleep of the exhausted. He noted with some joy that Bear was parked squarely between James and Delta, and was snoring away like nothing was wrong. 

“Merry Christmas, everyone,” he said as quietly as he could, while his crew banked his fire.

He didn’t go to sleep just yet, though. He had to think about something…

[taojjang]

𐙚 christmas morning with riize .ᐟ

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ advent calendar, day twenty-five: the finale! pairing: bf!riize x reader, genre: fluff! warnings: SO MUCH LOVE </33

synopsis: how riize would make your christmas feel extra special!

a/n: merry christmas my briize friends! i hope all of you guys had an amazing christmas! the advent calendar is coming to a close, so i wanted to show my appreciation for everyone who showed support! i had so much fun writing these holiday fics and i'm glad so many of you enjoyed them <3 i still have five (and maybe a bonus winkwink) fics that i'll be posting to make up for my mini hiatus, so this will not be the last. again. thank you so much ! 🧡

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ୨୧

✩ shotaro ⸝⸝

shotaro is the sweetest boy in the world, so of course christmas morning would be like a dream come true! the night prior, taro snuggled up with you and stroked your hair until you fell asleep. but the second he heard your light snores, he cautiously snuck off to the living room and began his christmas magic. he grabs a huge bag of gifts he's hidden in the basement and begins wrapping all of them by the christmas tree, ensuring not to exceed the squeak of a mouse.

the next morning, you shake taro awake and press frantic kisses on his face, desperate to open the gifts you've been waiting weeks for. but once the two of you reach the living room, your excitement melts into a puddle of pure astonishment and adoration for your sweet bf :(

"surprise! merry christmas, honey!"

✩ eunseok ⸝⸝

eunseok can't help but smile every time you go on and on about how excited you are for christmas. he loves seeing that silly little grin every time he brings up the holidays so much to the point where he mentions christmas almost every few hours. your jittery anticipation is just so cute <3

but that does not mean he's nice! even though you woke up so much earlier than usual and begged him to get up and open gifts, he would shake his head and say you're not allowed to open gifts until you eat :( so he cooks this luxurious and well-balanced breakfast so good you forget all about being upset! he buys you tons and tons of clothing and jewelry so you can always think of him when you wear the pretty clothes he picked out for you <3

"you would look so pretty in this dress, darling."

✩ sungchan ⸝⸝

no matter the time of year, sungchan is always spoiling the hell out of you. you tell him about a pretty necklace you want and its at your doorstep within days. he never lets his pretty princess miss out on all the fancy things she deserves. so of course he goes all out for christmas!

when you send him your christmas wishlist, he makes sure to buy every. single. item. there is nothing he wouldn't buy you. even if you wish for a unicorn and a gun he WILL get that horse armed with the meanest glock you've ever seen. the only issue is... he's a bit of a procrastinator. after you open all of your gifts on christmas, he'll keep his head low and giggle in shame, admitting he ordered your gifts a bit late and they won't be here until mid january. but you can't even be mad at him because that silly bf of yours is the best gift you could ever ask for :(

"i'm sorry princess... i swear i got everything on your list!"

✩ wonbin ⸝⸝

wonbin being the sweet little perfectionist he is, he'll be up all night worrying if you'll like your gifts or not :( he's lying beside you, biting his nails and fretting if he got everything on your wishlist while you're out cold. but the next morning, you couldn't understand what he was worried about.

everything was like a dream. all of your gifts were wrapped in the fanciest shiny wrapping paper and even decorated with pretty silk ribbons on each box. he even put together multiple gift baskets for you, filled with all of your favorite snacks and even cute photos of the both of you :( how could he ever doubt himself when he's the best boyfriend in the world?

"did i get everything you wanted, baby? if there's anything i missed, just let me know."

✩ seunghan ⸝⸝

seunghan just can't contain his excitement! he wakes you up a little earlier than planned with dozens of kisses peppered all over your face because he's just so eager to give you your gifts :( you're a bit cranky from being woken up an hour earlier than necessary but once you begin opening his gifts, you forget every complaint you've ever had.

all of his gifts would be packed with so much love and consideration. everything was wrapped in your favorite color and even had small cards inside every single box. every gift would have a little note attached to it, telling you the silly stories of the troubles he's endured to get you that gift. some gifts would even have cute blurbs about how cute you'd look using the gift :(

"i'm sorry for waking you up early, angel... i hope these make up for it!"

✩ sohee ⸝⸝

this little sohee guy is silly alright. no matter the occasion, sohee is always gonna find a way to make you either laugh until your stomach hurts or massage your temples in frustration. he loves messing with you, so of course he had to buy an elf on the shelf this christmas. every day since december first, that elf has been nothing but a menace. some mornings he'd kindly leave a bunch of hershey kisses on the kitchen counter for you, yet other mornings he'd trash your entire room with toilet paper and call it a snowstorm.

if you didn't have a headache already, there was no way the elf would leave you alone on christmas. on christmas morning, sohee would wake you up with this silly grin on his face telling you to get ready quickly so he can show you your "gifts." but of course the frickin elf made a huge igloo out of the gift boxes, leaving it in the center of the living room and sitting on top of it with that smug smirk on his face. you couldn't lie, it was quite impressive.

"WOAH!!! HE GIFTED YOU A NEW HOUSE!!!"

(ps. you saw him on the doggy monitor getting up at 4am to make the gift igloo, but you couldn't get enough of his proud little smile so you kept quiet!)

✩ anton ⸝⸝

your baby anton is so stupidly in love with you :( he'd spend months in advance searching for the perfect gifts for you, buying everything you mention wanting. you knew about this after seeing a note on his phone with all of the items you've spoken about, but you didn't expect this christmas to be even more exciting than you'd concluded.

he would be super duper excited to give you the gifts he prepared because they're just so heartwarming </3 anton would handcraft those mementos of his favorite photos of you and your favorite flowers. everything would even be wrapped in your favorite color with silly little stickers all over them :( anton never misses even the smallest details about you. he does all of this for you but even if you got him just a simple hoodie, he'd probably tear up (yes he's a loser for you).

"you deserve even more than this, my love."

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　⋆ ˚ ۪ ⋆ ୨୧

⋆˚𝜗𝜚˚⋆ tag list! (ask or comment to be added!)

@endtostartbreathin @gacktsa @hanninova @ramyeonzprincess @taroddori

[melodic-haze]

Hiiii

I know it's been a while since I posted something, but I'd just like to say that I'm leaving this blog for good, as much as I don't really want to

Work's been piling up for me lately and I haven't really had as much time as I hoped to keep writing, and my personal connection to this blog kinda. Strained until it went bye bye. Especially for personal reasons, I can't really look at this blog and write without feeling like there's this knot in my stomach

Maybe I'll come back one day, maybe I won't. Maybe I'll come back to this blog or maybe I'll start another one, who knows. But this'll be the last you lot hear from me unless you spot me somewhere else, but absolutely not under this name bc Haze was only ever a separate identity for Tumblr, with only my closest knowing who I actually am

I enjoyed the time I wrote on here, and I enjoyed the interactions even more. But right now I'm struggling and I really don't think I can come back to this blog again. I'm only writing this bc it didn't feel right to just delete the app and forget

So thank you for being there, thank you for the experience! But as of rn, the mic is off and I'm getting off the stage. Bye you lot

[becauseheartsgetbroken-hs]

Heyyy 🤗 I looove your content and I need to follow more people who post about Harry so who do you recommend?? And also some writers too 💖 Thank you so much, have a great day!

helloooo dear, thank you very much for your nice words 🫶

so it's mostly a quiet time around here because harry isn't around that much these days but my besties @daydreaming-laur, @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite and @hunshine-styles keep this place alive 🥹 also @ihearthes does god's work and i'm so thankful for her! 🥰 oh and @fkinavocado, @youubringmehome, @oh-honey-styles and @harrysblackcoat are so cool! also i always enjoy seeing @didhewinkback, @iconicharry and @twostepstyless on my dash 😊

for writers: @gurugirl, @lemoncrushh, @freedomfireflies, @lukesaprince, @moonchildstyles and @looselucy

god im sure i'm forgetting about a lot 😭 anyway enjoy 🫶

[ultravhasart]

Cassandra Cain’s Speaking Patterns

I was trying to write some fic and started saving a bunch of comic panels to analyze Cass’s speech patterns, so here’s my notes for myself and others! Most of the panels are taken from more recent stuff, like Birds of Prey (2023), Batgirls (2022) and Batgirl (2024).

I have nine points:

Only speaking when necessary

Typically monotone

Sentence Structure

On the job vs off the job

Slang

Facial Expressions and Body Language

Miscellaneous

My personal headcanons (still with some evidence)

I've also been forced to split this post up, since I can't add more than ten images per post :(

1: Only speaking when necessary

Unsurprisingly, Cass doesn’t talk much. This is especially true in group situations, since she doesn’t need to drive any conversation.

[Birds of Prey, Issue #2: Zannah and Black Canary are discussing plans, going back and forth about how to get onto Themyscira. Cass adds “or they’ll be on high alert.”]

The panel above is from a scene showing the Birds strategizing, and this is the only time Cass talks. She’s silent the rest of the time.

For one-on-one situations, she still doesn’t expand much, preferring single-word sentences.

[Batgirl (2024), Issue #2: Lady Shiva dropping some exposition, and Cass asking a question with one word.]

In tense situations, she can forget to speak ‘properly’, dropping words like ‘I’ll’ in the panel below:

[Batgirl (2024), Issue #2: Cass fights Kalden the Unseen after he hurts her friend.]

Also, she’ll talk more casually with people she’s comfortable with, like Steph!

[Batgirls, Issue #4: Cass and Steph banter a bit before being interrupted by Barbara.]

2: Typically monotone

Cass sounds very monotone, a lot of the time. She barely ends her sentences with exclamation marks or asks rhetorical questions. It’s fun to see her contrast her with characters who are more excitable/long-winded!

[Birds of Prey, Issue #7: Cass and Bertha go back and forth after being beaten in a fight.]

Cass also keeps up her usual tone in most fights. Here she is, battling a giant squid creature, focused as ever.

[Spirit World, Issue #3: Cass chides her teammates for bickering at each other rather than focusing on the fight.]

When in more alarming situations, she’ll raise her voice like everyone else. It’s uncommon, but only because it’s uncommon for her to be overwhelmed.

[Spirit World, Issue #4: A mysterious force takes control of Cass and Constantine, Cass looks scared, shouting “Can’t control… my body!”]

Once again, she’s more expressive with Steph. She’s more comfortable with her, and matches Steph’s energy when they’re both excited.

[Batgirls (2022), Issue #2: Steph and Cass exclaim “Bondo?!” at the same time, christening the car.]

[torturingpeople]

I took revenge on hardship from my earlier life by forgetting it.

it happens so quickly that you don't even realise it - you forget you're even looking into irrigo when you see it. you forget what you're thinking about instantly - it hurts, but it works. and when it stops working, you use more and more and more and more and more

until there is absolutely nothing left of you but a hull, your brain a shell containing a broken puzzle - nothing fits together anymore

maybe it's better this way

(quote by alija izetbegovic - closeups + explanation (warning for discussions of drug addiction and implications of suicide) under the cut)

i'm FINALLY going to talk about marie's irrigo fate that i have mysteriously been alluding to through my recent posts

essentially, marie is addicted to irrigo. if you're more curious/out of the loop on my irrigo biology theory you can find it here (along with the other neathbow colours), but something i didn't mention is that i think all of the neathbow colours have the potential for addiction

marie is addicted to irrigo not because of irrigo itself but because of the security (and dopamine) she gets from being able to forget. anything that troubles her can be wiped away and this acts as a sort of "safety net" for her, meaning she can remain 'stable' after her breakdowns. but like i mentioned in my irrigo post, the more you use irrigo the more you become resistant to it. the more it just hinders your memory, not wipes it entirely, and the less effective it is at inducing memory loss

when marie tries to forget things and it doesn't work as she intends, this sends her into a panic. because that safety net has been ripped from under her and now she's on a tightrope staring into the abyss with nothing to catch her fall and keep her safe. so she keeps using more irrigo. she starts going broader and bigger with what she wants to erase. and eventually she goes so far that she develops total retrograde amnesia

this drawing is the moment of impact - the moment she has gone too far - the moment she falls from the tightrope. she has basically killed her original self. there's nothing left inside of her anymore. the neurons are there, the memories "intact" in a way, but she can't reach any of them. she's severed all connections to her original life

[synchodai]

That Arcane AU episode

S2E7, Pretend Like It's The First Time, is my favorite and most hated season 2 episode. I like it because it mirrors S1E7, The Boy Savior, my (and most people's favorite) episode: Ekko-centric, Silco stealing the show, gorgeous emotional choreography between Ekko and Jinx, a microcosm of its season's themes, etc.

I hate it because it is a microcosm of its season's themes and said themes contradict S1E7.

Let's talk about what The Boy Savior showed us:

Vi rediscovering her community and agency with the Firelights. For the first time in the series, Caitlyn is prisoner and Vi is the one with power over her, but Vi chooses to vouch for Caitlyn so that the Firelights ease up on her and agree to give the Hextech core back to the Piltover Council. This shows Vi and Caitlyn as equals with power and influence in two different realms that they use to move together towards a common goal. (Compare that to S2 where Vi is fully dependent on Caitlyn and contributes almost nothing in their mission to capture Jinx.)

Powder vs Jinx. Ekko tells Vi Powder is dead and only Jinx remains. Vi argues with him saying she can still save Powder. We see the seed of doubt she planted in Ekko sprout when he hesitates to kill Jinx on the Bridge of Progress when he sees Powder in her. (Inadvertedly, Vi saved Jinx's life here. Both Ekko and Vi are wrong because Jinx IS Powder.)

Zaun vs Jinx. Chem-Barons want Silco to hand over Jinx so that the Enforcers will lift their blockade. Sevika tells Silco Jinx is a liability in their mission for an independent Zaun. Silco refuses to hand over Jinx (because it's not a choice between Jinx or Zaun — Jinx IS Zaun, but that's a post for another day).

The Enforcer's brutality is shown in full force. Viktor argues with Jayce for ordering a blockade on the undercity. Ekko calls out Vi for the Enforcers treating people in the undercity like animals.

Why Silco fights for Zaun. He gives a whole speech about suffocating in the toxic fumes of the mines to reestablish his dominance and reaffirm Sevika's loyalty. He reminds them that just because they've had a taste of fresh air, it doesn't mean they should forget that they still all come from the dirt.

Jayce's moral spiral in the name of progress. He's tormented by his betrayal of Heimerdinger, calls on Enforcers to terrorize the undercity, alienates Viktor, and eventually makes the choice (with Mel's urging) to weaponize Hextech.

Ekko vs Jinx. The quick 3-minute scene on the Bridge of Progress did so much for Arcane's reputation. If you asked me what Arcane is about, I would point to that scene. It showed who Ekko is. It showed who Jinx is. It showed the history and relationship between them. It is a commentary on Zaun and its children. Every frame is literally a well-conceived painting. It placed Ekko and Jinx as foils — Ekko is what could be if everything went right and Jinx as what happened when everything went wrong.

Let's talk about what Pretend Like It's The First Time showed us:

Only Powder grieves Vi. Whether purposefully or otherwise, the episode paints Vi as someone who would have been better off as a child martyr. Mind you, in the original timeline, she was presumed dead at about the same age, but I suppose a teen languishing in prison doesn't have the same impact as a public tragedy with a visibly gruesome corpse. Vi's previously established connection with her community is diminished. They DID already mourn her and thought they lost her, and their grief was memorialized through a mural because they cared for HER. In S2, Ekko only paints a mural of Vi to placate Powder, implying that her sister was the only one to truly mourn Vi's passing.

Everyone is free to move to and from the Bridge of Progress. Where are the Enforcers? Why are they gone? Who's keeping out the undercity folks sick from mining gas from mingling with the topsiders? The episode doesn't care.

Silco's life is made better by forgiving Vander. This makes it seem that Silco turned to a life of crime out of spite for one person, when S1E7 had him make a whole monologue why he built his Shimmer empire in the first place. They were being poisoned in the mines — did him and Vander making up clear up all the toxic waste in the undercity? How? When they were younger and working together, Zaun was still polluted, so what's different now?

Perfection is either pretending problems never existed in the first place or everyone turning into lifeless statues. Ekko's version of a perfect world and Viktor's version of a perfect world are both heavily sanitized dystopias utopias that ignore history and come at the cost of sacrificing innocent people. The episode never interrogates this.

Ekko and Jinx. I love Stromae but that dance sequence does not live up to S1E7 at all. The animation consists of blurry and choppy frames — an unimaginative way to simulate the feeling of being in love. Ekko apologizes to Powder for being "consumed" by all the ways the undercity wasn't perfect and "giving up on it" WHEN HE NEVER DID. Maybe he gave up on trying to save Powder, but he kept fighting for the undercity. His flaw was (understandably) looking down on Jinx as an enemy and seperate from the undercity rather than someone who shared their plight. What Ekko had to overcome was seeing everyone as deserving of saving and not just establishing another gated community. He shouldn't have seen Jinx deserving of love only when she was Powder. He should have seen Jinx as Jinx (mental illness, full of shimmer, uncontrollable) and came to the realization she's still one of them.

TL;DR: The Boy Savior was supposed to throw the nickname in Ekko's face because instead of saving Jinx, he was already counting her out as a "necessary sacrifice" for their community to move forward. S1E7 tackled with the idea of having "necessary sacrifices" in the name of progress. Give them this problem child and save Zaun, give up on your sister and move on with your life, just sell out this person that no one cares about and is only a burden on society and everything would be hunky-dory. Silco said no, Vi said no, Ekko said yes and then hesitated (which still led to her death if Silco hadn't saved her). But the message is clear — you do not better your society by sacrificing a scapegoat. Jinx is a product of the evils of her environment, not the cause of it. Class solidarity and all that, something something we are closer to the homeless and the drug addicts than we are to the politicians and billionaires.

However, S2E7 affirmed that, yes, sometimes children do have to die and we do have to sacrifice people for the world to be a better a place. What a mess.

[darkhymns-fic]

A Transgressor’s Threads in the Making

It’s winter and it’s cold, but no matter what, Vicious wouldn’t be caught dead in a bad winter outfit. Not even Aegis and his bargain-bin coats could change that.

But when darkness falls, a hero of light will rise—and that hero has the fashion know-how and passion to make some of the best and trendiest winter outfits ever made. Once again, Kanata must save the day!

Fandom: Tales of Crestoria Characters/Pairing: Vicious, Kanata Hjuger, Misella, Aegis Alver Rating: G Word Count: 6389 Mirror Link: AO3 Notes: A fic I wrote for a Crestoria Secret Santa. Kanata gets to live his fashion designer dreams!

--

Vicious was already pestering Misella barely an hour into the day.

“You’re not gonna start a fire for us now?” He groaned, frustrated. “Where’s the crazy arsonist we all know and love?!”

“Um, hey, maybe don’t say that out loud in public, alright?” warned Orwin, furtively glancing around them at those who turned a few heads. His words came out slightly muffled with the puffy hood wrapped around the back of his head, and a little over his mouth. “He’s just, just kidding, folks! Heh, just a good old jokester.”

Vicious scoffed, arms folded behind his head. The Great Transgressor looking a bit worse for wear than usual today as they passed through the marketplace. His hair was a frizzy mess, his vest only half buttoned so that it threatened to fall off his shoulders. Also, he was shivering, barely brushing aside the snowflakes that got caught on his eyelashes.

Decorative lights of numerous colors stretched across the storefronts, with snowmen of varying quality lining the streets, some with the usual pair of eyes while others sported a dozen. Crowds were more or less packed for what must have been a winter festival currently underway. So, not really a place for one to start any fire mishaps in what would have certainly been a dangerous situation.

Vicious didn’t care.

“It’s snowing like hell out here!” he complained again. Louder this time, probably an octave up or more. Just the right exact pitch to even make Orwin flinch as he walked by his side. “Look, just make a little fireball for us or something. You do it every other week!”

Misella walked ahead, ignoring the ravings of the older, half-naked man behind her. She shifted deeper into her jacket until it seemed only the tip of her head poked through, her pink hair all but swallowed up by her jacket’s own hood. She walked mittened hand in mittened hand with Kanata, the other also wearing something very similar. “Then you should have gotten a coat like the rest of us if you’re cold. Kanata was smart to do so.”

“Y-yeah…” Kanata meekly added. He scratched at his cheek, taking a bit of effort to turn around in his big coat to look at Vicious. “It’s very warm in here! At least…”

Vicious paused, then said blankly, “I would literally rather die than look like that.”

“Vicious, you know you are being quite ridiculous right now.”

Aegis, who was not far behind, tried to catch up to Vicious through the fresh snowbanks on the streets. He was also wearing the same type of puffy coat – along with a few extra layers packed underneath so that he waddled right up to the Great Transgressor. They were a strange combo of one who showed too much skin and one who showed virtually nothing except for half of his face. “There were some reasonably priced coats at that last store that you could have gotten with us. Catching pneumonia would be a risk to the entire group! Do you understand that?”

Vicious rolled his eyes. “If I were any drunker, I seriously would have thought you were one of those weird Penguinist guys we ran into the other day and shoot you right now.”

“Drunker? Have you already been drinking?!” Aegis flailed his coat arms, the way a certain bird-like, yet flightless creature might do. “It’s only morning!”

“Who are you, my dead mom? Lay off!”

Further to his left, Yuna giggled, one of the few in their group who didn’t wear so much bulkiness, her own coat tied around the waist with a red sash, buttoned all the way up to a high collar. She even had on a fur cap, its outside polka-dotted by the falling snowflakes. “If you wanted, I could have gotten a designer coat for you so that we could match!”

Vicious grimaced. “I don’t need any of that expensive crap. Is it that bad I just want something to be set on fire?”

“Yuna, where did you get this?” Aegis waddled up to her furiously. “Please tell me you didn’t spend any of our funds on that! We all agreed to get the coats that were on clearance!”

“Oh Aegrouch, do not worry your pretty little head.” She smiled, then poked at his nose with a leather-gloved finger. “I merely chatted with ‘ze store owner, and he was very kind to ‘and it over to me. I zin’t pay a dime!”

“…Are… are you saying you stole it? That’s much worse! Don’t add shoplifting to our transgressions!”

Yuna hummed thoughtfully. “Hm, or is ‘zat just a lie I made just for you?”

“I am going to have a heart attack.”

Vicious then sneezed, quite violently. Enough that his guns appeared in his hands at the very force of it. “Agh, hell! That freaking hurts!”

“Vicious, put those away right now!!”

--

This town was one of the few places without a Vision Central (convenient!), so few people paid much attention to a man with his stomach showing. In fact, Aegis wondered if they had ever heard of the Great Transgressor…

“Achoo!”

Though, of course, the man certainly liked to announce his presence whenever possible.

The inn they chose to stay the night at was already crowded. Garlands, peppered with red bows, decorated the ceiling rafters, and a lavishly ornamented pine tree was in the corner of the room, lights perched on its needles. The bar counters also held small figurines of a red-dressed man, but even with Aegis’ scholarly interest in the fabled sorcerer, Christma Sparking, he was doing all he could to not cringe at another of Vicious’ violent sneezes.

…And how a row of heads would occasionally turn to them at the sound. Trying to be indiscreet was more and more becoming an impossibility.

“At the very least, use a tissue!”

The fact that they had managed to even secure an inn table was lucky, including some extra seats for their friends. Vicious was happily doing that part of the job himself, stretching out both feet to lay them against the chairs, effectively ‘occupying’ them. But the chairs would rattle from another sneeze attack.

“Hey, my clothes are good enough!” Vicious sniffled again, wiping his nose with his black sleeve. Aegis grimaced.

“Ugh, now look at yourself, you’re already getting a cold. What did I tell you about actually dressing up for the weather?”

“Blah blah blah. The Great Transgressor doesn’t get a cold!”

“Oh, so you simply just sneeze and have a runny nose for fun?”

“Yeah?! Maybe I do! Don’t judge me!”

“Stop yelling!”

“No!”

Aegis rubbed his temples, which took him a few seconds to do due to his puffy sleeves. The layers of his jackets did their job of keeping him well-insulated, though his ease of movement, he admitted, left a lot to be desired. “I cannot believe we are still having this argument. You are literally behaving like a child right now. There was a perfectly acceptable jacket at the store. It was even in your size! And yet, you refused to get it out of some idiotic fashion sense?”

“Hey,” Vicious started, slamming the table with his fist—and sniffing loudly once again. His cheeks were red, as was the tip of his nose. Whether that was because of his cold, or the three beers he had just chugged down, Aegis wasn’t sure. “Do you know how hard it was to get myself to look this good? This,” he gestured at his torso, exposed to the bright lights within the inn’s dining room. “I ain’t hiding it under some goofy-looking bed comforter like the rest of you! If there’s a sin of looking bad, it’s that!”

“What? This is perfectly in season right now!” Aegis tried to gesture as well, and nearly fell right out of the chair, threatened by the weight of all his jackets. “It may not be the most on-vogue but we certainly don’t have the funds for such frivolous finery!”

Vicious’ other fist met the table, shuddering it from the force. “I ain’t gonna look like some weak-ass loser!”

“Uh, everything okay?”

At the voice, both Vicious and Aegis turned, finding Kanata in his oversized jacket. He…more or less was trying to carry a tray in his hands, but struggled to hold it in balance. Multiple drinks, bottles, and bowls of stew were dangerously close to teetering right off the edge, due to all the extra baggage his very person was already encumbered in. His entire head was still bound tightly in his hood, a pair of bright eyes blinking from its depths.

At the sight, Vicious laid his head back and groaned. Loudly. “See?! Look what the hell you did to this idiot. Now he looks lame.”

Aegis huffed. “I think you mean smart. He was very astute in realizing we must favor effectiveness over appearances.”

Kanata blinked, then lowered his head slightly. “Yeah…”

Vicious tsked, lifting his legs from the other chairs. “You know what? I’m heading to bed early. Need to sleep off all this embarrassment.”

“Certainly not because you’re drunk yet again,” Aegis intoned.

“I’m too depressed to even drink another drop!” The Great Transgressor announced… then quickly swiped away two bottles from Kanata’s tray. “Later, nerds!”

“That wine was for the whole group!” Aegis shouted, effectively getting even more eyes on them. Well, like it mattered anyway! Might as well announce to the whole world they were Transgressors while they were at it!

Kanata cleared his throat. “Vicious seems a bit grumpier than usual.”

“Hadn’t noticed,” Aegis sighed.

“Really? I would think it would be quite obvious to anyone that he’s much more-”

“I am being sarcastic. I am not that dense.”

“Oh!” With a nod, Kanata tried to reach for one of the glasses on the tray. “Well, this one’s your drink, I think. The lemonade one, was it?”

“Kanata, you’re going to drop it!”

It took more time than Aegis cared to admit for the two of them to finally, and safely, put their drinks on the table. There had been a lot of flailing, a lot of near spillages, and Kanata’s own puffy arm accidentally hitting Aegis in the face a couple of times.

Alright, maybe these coats were proving to be a tad problematic.

Kanata sat at the inn table, trying to squeeze into the seat with his outfit. How Aegis was able to sit down himself with his multiple layers before was anyone’s guess. “Hey, uh, why are we still wearing these anyway? It’s already plenty warm in here…”

“If you noticed our seats right now, we’re just by the door. When it opens, it will a bring a gust of wind on us, chilling us once again. It’s only good to be prepared.” Aegis nodded at his reasoning, all as he tried to grasp at his drink with a hand that was half-swallowed by his jacket(s) sleeves.

“Oh right. You always have an answer to these things…”

“Thank you. At least someone here appreciates the decision-making I do for this entire group…which I suppose has effectively abandoned us.”

“Well, Misella wanted to watch the chicken being roasted, so she insisted on being in the kitchen for it.” Kanata tried to turn his head but could barely manage more than an inch. “Orwin’s also chatting with some random old men at the bar…and I have no idea where Yuna went.”

“I probably don’t even want to know.” Aegis finally got his cup close to his mouth and attempted a sip. He got a few drops of lemonade! At least that was satisfactory. “We’ll need to leave first thing in the morning, so hopefully people will at least remember to rendezvous by then.”

“Already? But we barely spent any time in this town, and wouldn’t it still be really cold?”

“We must always keep moving, Kanata. And yes, it will be. That was why I got us these coats! The winters are especially egregious in this region. Of course, we’ll have to deal with that man who will mostly likely catch pneumonia on the way.”

“Wow, Aegis.” Kanata smiled, one that was half-hidden by the hood. “I had no idea you were so worried about him! Like a parent that is trying to care for their very reckless child. If you ever do have children, I’m sure they will be lucky to have such a protective father that won’t shy away from pointing out their mistakes.”

Aegis blinked. “…Where are you even…? Y-you know what, never mind. I don’t need to know how you picture my future skills as a parent, thank you.”

“But I just told you…”

As the crowd in the dining room continued to get lively, and Kanata struggled to even lift a spoon from his stew bowl before finally giving up, the boy spoke again.

“I think…I have a way,” he said to Aegis, moving his head free from the thick collar of his jacket. The hood was lowered, and a mess of golden, frizzy spikes framed his face. “To help Vicious not get sick, I mean!”

“If it’s to force feed him medicine,” Aegis said, munching on a breadstick—one of the few things he could reasonably eat while still wearing the coat. “Don’t bother. I tried and he bit me.”

“…Okay, I’m not gonna dig deeper into that then.” Kanata shook his head, making his hair frizzier in the process. “I mean, Vicious just doesn’t want to look like a fool, and I understand what he means! We need to have a makeover!”

This time, Aegis was truly lost. “Pardon?”

At that, Kanata finally unbuttoned his jacket, letting out a gasp of relief as he did so. His other clothes underneath was damp with sweat as he tried to catch his breath. “Because Vicious is right! We do look like… I’m sorry, Aegis. But we look like losers! And we’re not even wearing what’s in trend right now! I understand that we have to save money, but not at the expense of being left back in the times!”

“I don’t-”

“I mean, these coats were made nearly five years ago! Five!” Kanata held up the puffy coat that had more or less deflated now that it was Kanata-less. “That’s a death sentence in the fashion world. I know we’ve already been judged in town, and judged harshly I might add.” Kanata closed his eyes, reliving such stares that he would never fully forget, before he opened them once more. “Vicious knows that! But I think we can find a way to redeem ourselves and have people forgive our horrific sins.”

“Are we still talking about the coats?”

“I’m gonna need access to some tools!” Kanata barreled through, like a solider heading for the front lines of war. He had the same kind of fervor in his eyes that Aegis had to admire at least somewhat. “And if I get started tonight, I can have everything ready by the morning.”

“Tools?” The former knight tilted his head in confusion, or tried to. It was a bit difficult to move anything that was more than an eyeblink. “Do you mean you need new weaponry? Or like blacksmith tools? Or…” His eyes went distant. “The limited-edition tools for the latest Avalanche Silver Mechaknight edition?! I did see that on my way here, and they’re the latest models on the market. They also come with the most recent novel of the series, and only the first twenty copies have the author’s signature…”

“Um…” It was Kanata’s turn to be confused. “What are you talking about?”

“Sorry, what was the question?”

“…Never mind. I meant, tools for tailoring. You know, like for sewing and stitching? I’ll also need the right threads. Oh! A sewing machine would be perfect! I know a store that has exactly what we need. It would only cost a bit of our gald-”

“How much?” Aegis interrupted.

“…Well, okay, more than a bit, but fashion is no small price to pay.”

“Absolutely not. The jackets we got were a fraction of their original price. It’s better to shop for bargains then for superficial notions of trends!”

Typically, he expected Kanata to back down, to see sense as it were. But to his surprise, the boy only stared back at him with more fervor in those eyes. Those same eyes that had stated he would try to change this world of judgment and those sentenced unfairly to their crimes…

“No, Aegis. We must do this! I must do this! At least let us leave this town in dignity than in embarrassment.”

It took Aegis a while to process what was being said to him.

“You truly think these coats look that awful?”

“I do.” Kanata stood up, clenched his bandaged fist, and faced Aegis with fire and determination. “I believe that with all of my heart!”

It was now Aegis’ turn to bow his head, sinking further into his coat, so that he was more fabric and padding than man.

“I was only thinking what was best for everyone.” The defeated knight slowly reached out to the coat that Kanata had discarded. “I suppose I could always return this and recoup the losses-”

The coat then began to tremble.

Aegis may have given a small shriek, and he may have fallen off the chair and onto his back, wobbling as he did so like an overturned turtle. Kanata’s coat continued to shiver and shudder before a tiny furry head poked out. Brown fur shook itself before a little squeak erupted cheerfully. That same head then burrowed back into the coat.

“Ah, sorry. I was keeping Meakyu in there.” Kanata chuckled softly, looking towards the tiny animal. “He seems to really like it! But, I think he might have bit into the padding so I’m not sure if we could return it… Uh, Aegis?”

Kanata looked to the floor, seeing Aegis flail his thick arms and thick legs (he wore extra layers of pants as well) while inn customers quietly circled around him to get to their tables.

“Kanata, help! I have fallen and I can’t get up!!”

--

Just a few hours that passed into the night, but after much scrounging and searching, Kanata finally, finally had what he needed.

Now came the ultimate test.

“Kanata, where have you been? You missed dinner.”

Misella walked into Kanata’s rented inn room, the fireplace in it already stoked to a well-done heat as she munched on her well-done chicken leg. She no longer wore her puffy jacket, pink hair once again free from its confines. As she chewed, she looked on in wonder at the ‘tools’ that Kanata had so needed, spread out over a large table—a smorgasbord of thread spools that spanned a whole spectrum of colors, of scissors with varying sizes, of knitting needles, a few pincushions, and even what looked to be some sort of measuring tape…

Oh, and a strange mannequin that Kanata was using to measure a very green piece of fabric right now.

Misella narrowed her eyes. At the very least, it didn’t appear to be a feminine-shaped mannequin…maybe.

“Ah, Misella! Perfect timing! Aegis went to get Vicious. We’re going to be making him a whole new outfit for the weather.”

She chewed thoughtfully, careful to not get any food juices on her precious Kanata’s tools. But hearing Vicious’ name gave her pause. She bit off more meat from the dripping bone. “That man does not deserve your talents, Kanata. And I doubt any new clothes would cover up the fact that he is a vile monster that deserves to be buried underneath the rubble. Surely, you could have chosen someone else.”

“Oh, who?”

Misella smiled gently, tossing the chicken into the fireplace. The flames sparked and hissed, as if eagerly devouring the bone. “Someone who will wear your wonderful outfits with grace and poise. Someone who understands you and your passion.”

Kanata scrunched his forehead as continued to measure the fabric, picking up one of the scissors as he pulled at a corner. “Um…do you mean Aegis?”

But before the room could be set on fire then and there, the door flew open, with Aegis rushing through. He was faster now, having finally shed off the coats for his usual blue coat vest.

“I already told you, Vicious! I don’t have any money! Kanata spent it all!”

“Bullshit!” Vicious sauntered in, guns held in his hands, their reddish tint coating the floorboards. “I’m still only buzzed! I need more booze to actually get drunk!”

Misella stood next to Vicious, her hand held out, palm facing upwards. A spark ignited, slowly coalescing into the familiar flames she controlled. “Vicious, let me help you. This man has betrayed me.”

“Now that’s what I��m talking about!”

“Misella, why are you mad at me!?”

Somehow unmindful to the threat of oncoming violence, Kanata rushed out to the middle of the room, waving his arms. His smile was as bright—no, brighter than the sun itself. “Vicious! We got a surprise for you!”

There must surely be some magic that was held in the smile of a fourteen-year old boy (specifically, a fourteen-year old boy who still held the sin of patricide in his heart) as Vicious visibly calmed down then. He lowered his guns, and Misella’s fire was suddenly extinguished, her face a picture of contentment once again.

“I ain’t exactly a fan of surprises, kid,” Vicious said, his guns now vanished from his hands. “Unless it’s booze. You got me more booze?”

Kanata shook his head happily, then gestured to small sewing studio he had set up in his room. “We’re going to give you a makeover!”

Aegis blinked, staring at all the tools, the fabrics, and the assortment of accessories on the table. “You…you spent all of my money, didn’t you.”

Kanata didn’t answer him, his attention fully on the Great Transgressor, who was at least a little drunk. “Well, what do you think?”

Vicious took a breath—and then he turned around, heading for the door. “See ya. Don’t touch me.”

But not such a request from the most wanted man alive could ever dampen Kanata’s own excitement.

“Come on, it’ll be fun!” He grabbed Vicious’ arm, pulling him to his little makeshift studio. “I already have an idea for you!”

“What did I say about touching?!”

It took some convincing, which included letting Vicious curse for as much as he wanted, and promising, and really promising you better not be lying!! that they would get him some more alcohol right after this. The good kind, too!

“But I don’t have any more money,” Aegis weakly protested to an attentive audience of zero.

“Now, I’ve been thinking of making you a new jacket. One that will let you breathe a little easier, but just warm enough so that you don’t get cold!” Kanata led Vicious near the mannequin that wore a few clothing accessories, including what looked to be a bright red cap, a white pom affixed to the top. “I was thinking green because…well, it fits the season right now!”

Vicious narrowed his eyes. Then tried narrowing them again, swaying a bit on his feet. Okay, maybe he was a bit more drunk than he thought he was earlier. "What's with all the bright crap?"

"Oh, do you mean this? That's the wool!" Kanata nodded vigorously as he unhooked one long piece of scarf from a clothes hanger, this one tinged a violet shade. "This is a shawl. It's a very vital accessory to one's outfit. With the right color and even how someone might wear it, it can really bring out one’s sense of style!"

Vicious scoffed. "I thought shawls were like, I dunno, some kind of girl thing."

"Not at all! It's actually very chic for men to wear shawls during the winter too! See?" Kanata draped the fabric over his shoulders, then pulled on one end to be further up his arm, before wrapping the other loose end just around his neck. The result was much like a bundled-up scarf, but one that brought out his smile even more.

“Oh, and the finishing touch!” He plucked one of the red caps, fitting it over his head. Somehow, red and purple mixed well when he wore it. “And there you have it!”

"Huh. Not bad, I guess.” Vicious nodded. “I was just saying what Yuna told me…"

"Well, no offense to Yuna, but unless she's a reporter for fashion shows, I would have to question her knowledge!"

“Also, she was probably lying,” Misella interjected. But for the most part, she remained quiet, happy to watch Kanata in his element, with only her gaze turning slightly bitter when they ran over Vicious.

The man scratched the back of his head. “You know, I guess it won’t be too bad. I have been wearing the same thing this whole time… Also it’s always too damn cold now!”

“So you really do want the makeover?” Kanata whooped, already going to the table with the needles, the scissors, and all other manners of sharp, pointy objects. “Okay, let’s get started! Aegis, please help me!”

“What? Why me?”

“You have very delicate fingers, so you’d be perfect for the job! Now let’s go ahead and measure Vicious.”

The Great Transgressor smirked at Aegis, before it turned into biting laughter. “Better make me look good, knighty boy!”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this…”

“It won’t be too difficult,” Kanata reassured as he pulled out a small roll of measuring tape. But his once gentle smile now became just a tiny bit more manic, maybe even a bit too gleeful. “I already have so many ideas that I think will fit Vicious perfectly! Can you get the needles, Aegis? Use this fabric, too.”

The look was enough to make Vicious halt in his laughter. “Uh, okay you seem way into this, so it’s creeping me out—Ow!” He snarled at the knight who had just stuck a pin in the Great Transgressor’s arm. “Watch where you’re sticking that!”

“S-Stop fidgeting then!” Aegis countered, then said softly. “Could we not just use the mannequin… We paid for it…”

“You need to hold the fabric in place better than that! Here, let me do this one.” Kanata took the pins from Aegis’ hands, while still holding the measuring tape. “Unless you want to make Vicious look like a porcupine!”

“Yeah! You want to make me look like a porcupine, huh? That what you into?”

“I’m not—what do you even mean by that?!”

And the next few resulting hours passed that way, curses flitting through the room—but joyfully. Fabrics left both table and mannequin. Needles and scissors were used to their utmost extent. And Aegis had pricked his fingers quite a few times that he had to wear some bandages.

But Kanata’s fervor for the work was infectious.

Only Misella had ever seen Kanata hard at work when it came to fashion design. Color coordination, stitching, sewing, and even looking over the right accessories to add to an outfit… Back in Dalchia, Kanata had always shown such passion for it. He’d promise to make her a new blouse, or a dress even, once his skills had finally improved.

But with everything that happened in-between, she had imagined such promises had passed from his mind. Yet instead, it had been sleeping dormant inside of him, waking up once he had to endure Aegis’ own terrible fashion choices. (Yes, she hadn’t liked the coats either.)

And so, just before the sun rose, they were finished.

“Well?” Kanata stood back from Vicious then, hands on his hips. He still wore the red cap on his head, though he had affixed a little star charm to hang off from the pom sometime in the middle of his mad designing phase. “What do you guys think?”

Now here was where she was in conflict. Anything that Kanata made was beautiful and perfect. And Vicious himself was awful, evil, and just a curse on all of humanity. She did not want to compliment Vicious, but to not do so would be to deny Kanata’s hard work and talent.

“Hey, so do I look good or what?!”

Among the mish-mash of sewing tools and kits, (alongside the now fallen-over mannequin, which also had some bullet holes on its front. No one remembers why) Vicious stood. The green that Kanata had been busy cutting and fitting had indeed become the man’s new jacket. Though, it was much looser than his usual one, the sleeves oversized, as well as how it draped off his shoulders overall. Yet the white fur trim at the collar was warm and soft (“And it’s faux-fur, too!” Kanata assured). Vicious also looked strangely proper now that he was wearing a shirt that covered his chest. It’s black dye, along with the white tie he wore, was very appealing.

Aegis placed a hand against his chin. “Huh. You look…very trendy, I must say. Even with you not wearing the jacket correctly, it seems to suit you…”

Vicious flicked back his hair, his new boots, fashioned from brown leather and laced along the front, stomping on the floor. “Well, it’s still weird feeling all covered up,” he admitted. He poked at the red suspenders hanging from his new pants. “But…you’re right. These digs ain’t half bad. Kanata’s got some taste! No lame puffy coats!”

A sigh came from the knight. “Can we stop talking about the coats already? Meakyu has already made a fort from all of ours and they’re so riddled with bite marks that I can’t ever return them, let alone even use them.”

“Yeah, whatever. But look at these ornament thingies!” Vicious held up the small, familiar-looking figures that were tied around his waist with a chain-link. “Heh, a mini-me! And even that little rat thing!”

Kanata scratched the back of his head. “Hehe. I’m glad you like it, Vicious. I wanted to try my hand at crafting a little bit too. And you have the pouch there to put them away if you wanted to.”

“Nah, they staying out. Next time, carve me some tiny guns. Or better yet! A booze bottle! Actually, make it a real one that I can drink out of.” Vicious grinned.

“The figurines are fine as they are,” Misella said firmly. But, she could not deny Kanata’s work, nor did she want to. Also, it was very good that Vicious appreciated it as well. “Kanata’s talent is truly the only thing that can make you look decent.’’ Then she narrowed her eyes. “But you should have worn the hat.”

“Hey, look, hats aren’t my thing. I can’t cover up these locks!” Vicious gestured to his hair. “Why don’t you wear it instead?”

“Oh, well, I already made her one,” Kanata said, a flush rising on his cheeks. “I, uh, kinda made new outfits for all of us! Misella, would you like to try-”

She rushed over to Kanata, grabbing at his shirt. “YES.”

Aegis looked at them expectantly. “So…me too?”

“Yeah, of course, Aegis! I had outfits for Yuna and Orwin, but they still haven’t come back…I’m beginning to wonder if we’ll ever see them again…”

--

Vicious was not really a fashion kind of guy.

Like, sure, he looked the part. He knew how freaking amazing his threads were, which had taken a little ingenuity from himself to get the exact look that he wanted. Threatening, dangerous, unhinged, and plenty sexy. If the Great Transgressor wasn’t all this, then what would be the point?

But what Kanata made for him… Well, he liked it. It wasn’t something he would think of himself. After all, this new outfit covered him up! And the little figures hanging from his pants were a bit too cutesy…

Still, he actually felt warm. And not like, the dying in the summer heat warm. Or the I-drank-way-too-much-beer-and-now-I’m-getting-flash-sweats kind of warm either. Like, the good warm. The nice warm that Yuna sometimes talked about when he pretended to listen.

Vicious wasn’t the only one that left the room decked out in a whole new outfit. Misella and Aegis followed close behind, the former wearing a red suspendered-skirt along with her green, fur-trimmed jacket, while the latter matched her in color, his kinda-tight pants a far cry from the multiple-layered monstrosity he had been trying to make happen.

…There were a lot of similarities in all of their outfits, Vicious noticed. Like as if they were a part of the same musical group. Eh. Still better than the coats.

“I will treasure this forever,” Misella whispered as she clutched a tiny Kanata ornament in her hands. “It’s beautiful.”

“How did Kanata have time to make all of this in one night?” Aegis questioned aloud. His own red cap was just a bit oversized, hanging tilted on the left side of his head. “It doesn’t seem humanly possible.”

“Some people have purer, more passionate souls than others,” Misella quickly reasoned. “It’s only natural.”

“That doesn’t really explain anything at all…”

Vicious was sneaking in a drink from a small wine bottle he had kept tucked away in his new jacket, until he saw Kanata approach. With the way the boy looked sheepishly to the side, Vicious had a feeling he knew what he wanted.

He nodded knowingly, and handed him the bottle. “Here, you earned it. Just one sip though, and no backwashing!”

Kanata stared, his mouth hanging half-open. What, did the kid want him to dump the bottle in there? “W-wait, that’s not it! I’m underage!”

“Right. Too young to drink, but not to kill people. I forgot that’s how it is.”

“No, that’s not…” Kanata waved away whatever weird conversation they were having to move onto something else. “I just wanted to check if…you really do like the new outfit? That you’re not just saying you do to make me feel better. I know I got carried away in there when I was making it…”

“Listen, if I actually hated this new outfit, you’d know. Extremely. And I’d chase you down the street guns blazing for making me look bad.”

Kanata gave a small blink before chuckling good-naturedly. “Haha, thanks, Vicious. I think I needed that joke.”

“I wasn’t kidding—”

“WHAT IS THIS?!”

A shout from Aegis usually wouldn’t startle most people. The guy would shriek at their cutlery not placed the right away, even when they were eating straight from the ground. But just near the inn’s open front doors, Aegis stood outside, his head raised toward the sky and his eyes frantically searching.

“Aegis, what is it?” Kanata asked as he rushed over. Vicious walked slightly faster, and Misella still remained inside so she could pet the Kanata ornament a little bit more. “Are…are there enforcers coming after us?”

Vicious groaned, already summoning a gun. “Typical of them to show up just when I finally got something good to wear!”

Aegis rounded on them both, fists clenched. “Do you two really not see it?!”

Kanata was careful, taking a good moment of consideration before he spoke. “If this is about your pants being too tight, I can still make some adjustments-”

“For the last time, this is not about the pants! Just look!” Aegis flailed, once again looking like he was trying to take flight.

Vicious and Kanata looked around at the calm city streets. The lamplights were still on, but the sun was just making its way over the horizon, draping over the wet cobblestones with a red-tinged light. It was both beautiful, yet so terribly lonely in its own way. The sight of such light, in an empty street that had been just filled with so many people only a few hours ago, was enough to even make Vicious feel a bit somber. Maybe, truly, the fragility of life could be just like this weak sunlight and barren roads—

“It’s the snow! There’s no snow! It’s all gone!”

Vicious shook out of whatever weird daze he had just been in. Man, maybe he was still half-drunk somehow. “Hey, I knew that! Don’t go saying I didn’t!”

“Did you? Because with all the snow already melted, winter is over! It doesn’t even feel cold anymore. We got these new outfits for nothing!” Aegis placed his head in his hands, looking bereft and forlorn. “And we barely have any gald left!”

Misella finally followed them outside. She was now holding the figure of a mini version of herself now, cradling it with her Kanata figure. “You’re so dramatic. Just eat the snow and you’ll be fine.”

“What does that have to do with anything? I just said there’s no snow!”

“Then eat the grass? You are so whiny.”

Huh, Vicious thought, looking at his surroundings. No more wacky-looking snowmen, and no more drizzly snowflakes to mess up his hair. No snow.

Freaking finally.

With a laugh, Vicious wrapped an arm around Kanata, who squeaked slightly at the contact. “Oh! Uh, are you okay? Are you too drunk to walk again?”

“Hah! Not yet!” Vicious clapped a hand on top of Kanata’s head—which still wore that funny hat of his. But even with that in the way, he was still able to ruffle the boy’s hair, light golden locks turning every which way. “Let’s head out and show these off. Maybe get some suckers to buy us free drinks.”

“Well, I still can’t drink… but if you mean for us to model these outfits to people, then I’m in!” Kanata grinned wide, while at the same time gently nudged Vicious’ hand from his head. “That kinda hurts though.”

“Where is Yuna and Orwin already? Did they leave us?!” Aegis was still shouting hysterically, then paused in horror. “I’m going to have to pay for Yuna’s stolen outfit too. I just know it. I am in hell.”

“Eh, loosen up. You look good for once!” Vicious slapped Aegis on his back, probably making him fall, but he was too high up in the clouds himself to notice. “Let’s just go and show off already!”

He didn’t even mind that he wasn’t blackout drunk by now. How funny that just a shiny new jacket and some clean pants could make him feel this way.

[evgar]

guess who's back in her wenclair era

[pokimoko]

I can't keep being fundamentally changed as a person by animated movies, it's just not sustainable.

[choccymilllk]

clueless...

alt version w potato hehe